HOW TO BUY A MEDIOCRE DIAMOND

One night a guy strolled into our store a little before closing time, shoved a ring at

me and asked, “Is it a real diamond?” The ring looked as if it had been crafted in

the Alabama Home for the Terminally Inept and the gem in its center, I swear,

looked frosted. “I’ll have to run a couple of tests,” I said; then I checked its thermal

conductivity and refractivity. By golly, it was a diamond; so I pronounced it as

such. My inquisitor came to bat again, “How big is it?” I took a few measurements

and made a couple of calculations. “It’s about a carat,” I replied. “What do

you think of it?” he asked. “You don’t want to know,” I replied. “No, really, what

do you think of it?” he insisted. “You really don’t want to know,” I demurred. He

relentlessly insisted, “Yes, I do.” Compelled to an honest evaluation, I said, “It’s

the ugliest diamond I’ve ever seen.” Somewhat miffed at my candor, he stalked

out with a parting shot, “Well, I only paid $2900 for it!” His rudeness aside, I

could not help but wonder why he had bought it. If, however, you think he had

been ‘pretty cool’ in his diamond purchase, I have formulated the following rules

to aid you in emulating his success.

The first rule in “how to buy a mediocre diamond” is to never look at one. Buy

one over the internet on the basis of a ‘cert‘ - a laboratory grading report. If you

think yourself to be a serious diamond buyer, you’ll know that not all certs are

created equally; the worst are inflated sales aids. Diamond experts, however, also

know that even the best ‘cert’ won’t tell you everything about a diamond’s appearance.

Were you to look at diamonds, you might gather some ideas and form an

opinion about the components of diamond beauty. Then, goodness knows, were

you to exclusively restrict your choices to beautiful diamonds, you’d have far, far

fewer to chose from; and each would cost more than the ‘bargain‘ at the bottom of

the barrel.

Our second rule for buying a mediocre diamond is to consider diamond weight

exclusively in your purchase (diamonds are weighed in carats - a carat is .2 of a

gram). Pay no attention to the fact that the distribution of a diamonds weight has a

huge affect on a its appearance (If you think a 5 foot tall,100 pound woman looks

no more healthy than a 6 foot tall 100 pound man this will come to you naturally).

Ignoring a diamond’s proportions will guarantee that you will buy your “carats”

cheaply. They might be homely, and they may not look their weight, but they’ll be

cheap.

Our third rule for buying a mediocre diamond is to fixate on color, clarity and

price. Pay no attention to the fact that color and clarity were innate in the diamond

while it lay in the ground, just buy the color and clarity you want at the lowest possible

price. I suggest you buy an uncut diamond. It’ll look like a piece of wax, but

you will have successfully purchased your desired color and clarity at the lowest

possible price. Indeed, you will have also maximized the weight you will have

purchased at that price.

To understand the last rule, let’s go back to the fellow at the beginning of our story

and his diamond. We’ll clear up the mystery of its polish (its frosted appearance)

and that will take us to the fourth rule for buying a mediocre diamond. Polish is

one of the important elements in a diamond’s beauty; so I couldn’t get the ugly

gem’s appearance out of my head. A few months later I was talking to Hearts On

Fire diamond cutter Brian McCardy; and I had to ask him about that frosted finish.

“That’s easy,” he replied. “It had been burnt, exposed to high heat for a long time,

probably in a crematorium.” When he said that, everything fell into place. The

odds were very good that it had been stolen from someone’s ashes. Of course the

guy wouldn’t be sure if it was a diamond, he’d bought “a good deal” but very

probably not through a regular retail jeweler who had a reputation to maintain.

So there it is; if you really want to buy a mediocre diamond, you must never look

at real diamonds, just buy a piece of paper. Then as you shop, shop for the absolute

lowest price for a given weight, color and clarity. Ignore cut; and finally, pay

no attention to the person you will buy it from - in fact, the shadier his personality,

the better. If, on the other hand, you want a beautiful diamond, you need look no

farther than Hursts’ Berwyn Jewelers.

Each of our diamonds is hand selected for

extraordinary appearance. That means that when we turn out the lights at our diamond

counter (try asking any other jeweler to do that) the diamond must still look

brilliant. It’s up to you, beauty - at competitive prices - or a diamond that will dog

you with its mediocre appearance forever. If you’re serious, phone us at

708.788.0880 for an appointment to buy the very best in diamond beauty.